Sunday, November 27, 2011

21 Day Journalling - Days 10-13

This is what happens to me when I have 4 days off in a row, I get lazy. Well, maybe its more like I don't spend 8 hours a day in front of my computer anymore. Woo Hoo!!  Needless to say, I am once again behind on the 21 Day Journalling challenge. So here goes, hurrah to getting caught up!

Day 10 – Who Do You Enjoy Spending Time With?
The answer to this one is simple, and would be my sweet baby, S. I also cherish time with my two spoiled kitties as well. And if the stars are in alignment and I happen to be near family, well, I love to spend time with them too. (I currently live about 1700 miles away from my mom, so I don't get to see her as often as I'd like too.)

Day 11 – Out of Your 5 Senses, Which is the Most Important to You, and Why?
Oh man, you mean I have to choose?? Ugg Ok, forgoing the deliciousness of food and the beauty of the oceans and forests, my choice would be my hearing. I think that being brought up in a musical household is the key to my choice. That and being moved to tears by music, I could not live the same life without my ability to hear sounds. Growing up, my grandmother was always singing or whistling some sort of tune. Nearly all my family sings, my uncle was a DJ. I've played a total of 7 instruments while growing up and I still play the piano. (Albeit rusty, but I can still pound out a tune!) Music was and is a foundation in my life. I don't go one day without listening to music. And with the ability to hear, I can still enjoy the wonderful sound of the ocean waves and the wind rustling through the trees. I can hear the sizzle of food being cooked.

Growing up, playing the piano was an outlet for me. I think it helped me through my terrible teen years without too much upset. And you know what? This just dawned on me, I had more personal pain during the time when I didn't play the piano than growing up! I don't know why I didn't use the piano as an outlet during my 20's, because man those years were so painful! 

I have a nearly full size keyboard now, that sits and collects dust. I've played it a few times over the last year. My life is filled with a lot of joy and laughter these days. But I suppose I could still celebrate that with some music! And one day, I will have a real piano again. (There is just nothing that can replace it!)

Day 12 – What Are Your Biggest Goals for the Next Few Years?
Several years ago I set a goal for myself, to own a house by the age of 35. Well, here I am, 35 and still renting. However, I still want to reach the goal of home ownership. Hopefully by the time I'm 40! Although, I struggle with this a lot because I feel like such a gypsy. I have been rootless for so long, moving across the country. But the need for a "home base" is so great, maybe that idea will eventually win out and I will find a permanent home.

Next, I would like to work towards my life purpose. Currenly, I am not working in a job that I love, and that makes me sad. I thought I had found something with Massage Therapy, but even that leaves me listless these days. Part of me wants to serve, be some sort of healer. And there is part of me that craves the power of creation. I want to make things, either crafty things or foodie things. So, perhaps I need to find a ways to combine all these goals? Something to think about.

Day 13 – What Do You Fear Most?
On the top of the list is death, for sure. Its the ultimate release of control, complete letting go and surrendering. The biggest issue I have with this is that I don't know what's out there. I don't know for sure what happens after death. I don't know when my time is up and it scares the hell out of me. I'd like to believe that we, as a spiritual consciousness, decide to come back for another go on this earth. I like the Idea of reincarnation. I'd also like to believe that what is "out there" is more magnificent that this banal existance. Its a tough thing to face as a control freak, because, well, I truly don't have any control of my death. Yes, I can choose to eat healthy and exercise in order to stay alive as long as possible. But, you just never know, and that's the scary part!

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